Feel free from the weight of expectations — and embrace your true self.

You’ve spent so long taking care of others and forgotten how to take care of yourself.

You’re the reliable one.  Making lunches, folding laundry, waking up early to make sure everyone leaves on time.  Before anyone speaks, you know who is upset and what will calm them.  You prioritize your children’s activities, your partner’s schedule, your coworker’s deadlines, but you’re starting to feel resentful for how your own needs are sidelined.  You constantly feel the weight of high expectations at home, at work, and even with family and friends.  This pressure led you to develop perfectionistic tendencies, where you strive to meet these standards of excellence and success, but often at the expense of your own well-being.   You set high standards for yourself because letting things slip feels like letting other people down.

You’re the independent one.  You’re cool in a crisis, quick to research solutions, and always there to problem-solve.  But this independence can also be lonely: you’re used to helping others and are uncomfortable asking for help for yourself.  Asking for help feels like a vulnerability or a statement that you just aren’t strong enough to handle it on your own.  Delegating work or responsibility feels risky as you don’t trust others to do what needs to be done and worry that it’ll look like you’re slacking off or being lazy.  In school, you were the one who did the group project all by yourself.

You’re the caretaking one.  You enjoy taking care of others (and maybe have even made a career of it).  While this can be rewarding, it can also lead to feelings of burnout and self-sacrifice.  When you’re not taking care of others, you’re at a loss for how to care for yourself.  Prioritizing self-care feels selfish or even like a waste of time.  Maybe you’ve even been called controlling and demanding when you’ve asked for help, so you’ve learned not to even try.  You suppress anger to keep the peace, but sometimes it flares unexpectedly and you don’t know why.  This endless sense of duty and responsibility for others feels overwhelming at times, leading to constant fatigue, anxiety and stress.

through therapy, you can redefine responsibility and rediscover yourself.

Therapy for eldest daughter syndrome can help you:

  • Learn how to say no without guilt or fear, clarify your personal limits, and understand that self-care isn’t selfish.

  • Reduce feelings of resentment, know the difference between responsibility and overcommitment, recognize your own wants and needs, and transform shame into self-compassion.

  • You are more than your productivity and your value is more than what you do for others. Find out who you are for yourself.

  • Develop assertiveness skills to ask for what you need without losing your sense of self-reliance and independence.

  • Instead of being overwhelmed by expectations, find healthy balance at home, at work, and with family and friends and pursue your personal aspirations and passions.

my approach

Helping you get off the anxiety hamster wheel.

Often, we get stuck in the cycles of overthinking and worry because we’re waiting for the “perfect” option or path to magically appear — but the reality is there’s no such thing.

Beneath anxiety is usually a feeling of being out of control. To fix that, we try to control EVERYTHING around us, which rarely works and always leaves us exhausted. Together, we’ll find new ways of approaching conflict, challenges, and decision-making that will allow you to be compassionate to yourself and give you room to rest.

This will start with an exploration of your current challenges and how the worries you have now may be connected to past experiences. We’ll name the negative beliefs you have about yourself or the world, and then challenge them so you can start to break down the barriers keeping you stuck. I’ll help you understand how anxiety manifests in your body, and why you try to avoid things when you logically know it won’t help.

Then, we’ll work together to learn how to monitor and manage your own anxiety levels, so you don’t get overwhelmed or lash out. We’ll discuss your goals for the future, identifying your core values so you can make future decisions based on who you are, not what others want from you. You’ll be able to connect more deeply with your sense of purpose and self and, in turn, have more meaningful relationships with those you care about most.

 Frequently Asked Questions

  • Constantly feeling responsible for other people’s emotions or needs, difficulty saying ‘no’ to requests, chronic guilt when prioritizing self-care, high anxiety about making mistakes, and low sense of personal worth are all indications that it might be time to try therapy. Therapy can help you set boundaries, increase self-compassion, reduce feelings of overwhelm, and improve intimacy and vulnerability in relationships.

  • Absolutely. Common relationship impacts include a pattern of attracting partners who need ‘fixing,’ difficulty setting healthy boundaries, a tendency to ‘over-give’ in relationships, and rising resentment about unequal mental load in the home or with childcare.

  • Yes, similar dynamics can occur with men, though the manifestation might differ based on gender expectations and family culture. Men might experience a heightened sense of responsibility for family with expectations of being ‘the leader’ or primary source of support, feel intense pressure to succeed socially, professionally or financially with no regard to personal fulfillment, and expectations regarding masculinity, interests, and behavior that can weigh heavily on them.

From codependency to compassion.

From feeling limited to being limitless.

Find your strength and find yourself.